Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
