im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
