I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize