Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
