When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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