Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
