do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
