I'm eating all of the evidence.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
