You're a womanizer and a bitch.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize