I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
