i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
