just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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