I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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