i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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