I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize