i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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