brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
high people should be assigned attendants
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
