Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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