A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
