oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
