Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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