I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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