We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
