If that was your dad, he is hot
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
