Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
