I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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