mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
