broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
