My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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