; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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