Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
