I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
