you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
