ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize