that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
