make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
