He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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