it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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