He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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