So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
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