well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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