i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
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You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
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his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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