if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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