have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
