what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
