that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
my sisters under your porch take her home
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
