Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick

  (972): View more from Texas

  please tell me you have proof of this

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  (405): the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick (972): please tell me you have proof of this http://tfl.nu/kwvu
  Replies (9) Good night (870) Bad night (4272)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.

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  (602): dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese. http://tfl.nu/mk7p
  Replies (30) Good night (4478) Bad night (1173)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?

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  (414): is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons? http://tfl.nu/ve8k
  Replies (24) Good night (1091) Bad night (4604)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.

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  (410): You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad. http://tfl.nu/7eya
  Replies (15) Good night (1535) Bad night (4520)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.

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  (509): im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating. http://tfl.nu/g1sz
  Replies (16) Good night (3974) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.

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  (540): Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house. http://tfl.nu/gobb
  Replies (7) Good night (1570) Bad night (1012)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.

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  (615): Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight. http://tfl.nu/ami0
  Replies (22) Good night (4234) Bad night (1931)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets

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  (267): Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets http://tfl.nu/behk
  Replies (7) Good night (1915) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below

  (773): View more from Illinois

  When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"

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  (773): We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below (773): When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!" http://tfl.nu/bs1p
  Replies (4) Good night (1947) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something

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  (831): i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something http://tfl.nu/b053
  Replies (10) Good night (1742) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults

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  (810): You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults http://tfl.nu/ltaq
  Replies (3) Good night (1359) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.

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  (641): FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS. http://tfl.nu/fecm
  Replies (6) Good night (2119) Bad night (1144)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...

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  (828): nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote... http://tfl.nu/xy7a
  Replies (2) Good night (1378) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.

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  (907): according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it. http://tfl.nu/rmyb
  Replies (7) Good night (1185) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.

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  (443): Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months. http://tfl.nu/088h
  Replies (1) Good night (624) Bad night (706)

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