I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm gonna fight the coyote