Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.