end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"