I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants