Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
