Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize