Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
