he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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