Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
