there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
