After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
