I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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