went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
