Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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