I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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