how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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