lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
