me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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